How to Cut Through Your Own Bullshit
It's easy to see other people's bullshit. Much harder to see through our own. While I was at BlogWorld Expo, I had that driven home to me again and again. Here's just one example. I had a chance to chat with Sonia Simone after the Internet Marketing for Smart People session. I hadn't seen Sonia since SOBCon '08. She is now sporting what I consider the coolest dye-job ever. Her hair is streaked with pinks and purples, and other than that the cut and style are normal. The effect is brilliant.
We talked about how glad we both were now to be on our own, doing our thing, rocking the world, and making it all work. She told me an interesting story about how one day she was picking up her kid from school when one of the other mothers said to her, "I wish I could have hair like that."
Sonia and I both stopped talking for a moment, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing: NOBODY'S STOPPING YOU.
(And this is where I hit send accidentally. Oops. The rest follows.)
The only thing stopping this woman from doing whatever she wanted with her hair was her own self-imposed limits. The barriers were in her mind. It's easy to see in other people, isn't it? Maybe you thought the same thing when you read the story: What's stopping you, lady? Do what you want with your hair, for crying out loud. But how many times have we done the same thing to ourselves?
I wish I could quit my job.
I wish I could earn 5 figures a month.
I wish I could go to big conferences.
I wish I had a little house in the woods that was perfect in every way according to my own tastes.
I wish I was closer to my family.
You're bullshitting yourself. If you're just wishing, and not ACTING, you're totally bullshitting yourself. You are FULL of shit. When we make empty wishes, the next thing that follows is often excuses as to why we don't have what we claim we want. "Oh, I could never do that. I have a family to feed. My spouse wouldn't like it. My cat would look at me funny."
Excuses, excuses.
Here's how to cut through your own bullshit: write down all the stuff you wish you could do. Write down everything that prevents you from doing those things.
After a while, don't you feel a little silly that you have so many excuses for everything? Doesn't that strike you as kind of lame? Does it make you see it's all really "just you?"
What you'll discover is that there's nothing on that list you can't get if you work hard enough, if you want it badly enough.
It's all in your own mind (granted, I'm not talking about physical disabilities or disease, but even in those situations, the only thing controlling our thoughts is ourselves). There is nobody but you in control of your life. Most people have given up on themselves.
Nobody will help you. Your friends and family are much more interested in you not succeeding because you're exposing their own mediocrity, and they won't love you for that.
I believe everyone has the strength to live their best life. The first step to drawing it out is to recognize and cut through our own bullshit.
What's REALLY stopping you?
